The year is 1978 and Court Ordered School desegregation doesn’t sound like such a big deal to 17 year old Leigh Webster, but then again maybe she is just too young to realize the social and political firestorm that is just igniting in her community.

Leigh’s relatively sheltered life with extremely overbearing parents is about to take a radical turn. When Leigh meets attractive and smart desegregation student Chris Logan, she is attracted to him right away, but with social tensions running high, can they risk a relationship? A touching story about love, hate and every emotion in between. 

Chapter 14

Believe it or not, the rest of the school year flew by.  I never returned home to my own room, choosing instead, to stay with my Aunt Liz and Uncle Art, who told me that I wasn’t imposing at all.  I really didn’t believe them, but they loved me and it was much better than staying with the parents I had grown to despise.

Despite Mr. Vincent’s esteemed connections, I didn’t get into Harvard.  My grades had suffered the second half of my senior year and though they were still top notch, they were not good enough to get me into a coveted school like Harvard, despite the fact that I was the star of the debate team and vice president of the student council.

I did get accepted to Boston University, which was a great school, with a great law program.  The best part was that it was still very close to the house that Mr. Vincent had bought, so I wouldn’t have to find a place to live.  I had won a host of scholarships and of course, Mr. Vincent had agreed to pick up the difference, all in an effort to make sure I went away to college in Boston, and thus cement my relationship with Ron.  I was a bit apprehensive that in a few short months I would be moving away to Boston, to live with my so-called “future fiancee”.

At the same time, I was quite happy to be leaving my crazy life behind with my overbearing parents and the insanity that seemed to surround them.

My best friend Kate was completely envious of me. She would be attending our local community college in the fall and she seemed to think it was no big deal at all that I was shacking up with Ron, all in the name of the advancement of my education.

I, on the other hand, felt like a complete phony. I was not in love with Ron, yet I was planning on moving into his house and perpetuating the rumor that someday he would be my fiancee and we would marry, even though I had no intention, whatsoever, of marrying him.

I spent the summer, mostly working with my uncle Art, hanging out at Kate’s pool and of course, hanging out with my pseudo fiancee to be, Ron. In August I packed up my little car and was off to Boston.  I was completely awestruck when I saw our gorgeous Back Bay, brownstone.  Ron’s dad had gone completely overboard!  It was beautiful, and the location was perfect for me, it was just five blocks from my campus, an easy walk or bicycle ride.  It was a bit further to Harvard, but Ron had the Austin Healey, he could drive there everyday.  He said despite the busy drive to the Harvard campus, being able to live there in the brownstone with me, was well worth it.

The brownstone was roomy enough, it had two bedrooms, though the second bedroom was so small, it was hardly big enough to be more than an office or a nursery. Of course, Ron and I slept in the master bedroom and used the second bedroom for a study.

Mr. Vincent had gone all out furnishing the house with leather couches and heavy wooden bookshelves. In my wildest dreams I had never dreamed I could be so fortunate as to be living just blocks from campus in a very private house.

After my first month in Boston I was almost glad that I hadn’t gotten into Harvard.  I was happy at Boston University and I was happy to have my own little circle of friends at the university.  It gave me some much needed some time away from Ron, though strangely, I couldn’t seem to wean myself from the almost constant sex that we both seemed to crave.

It seemed weird that I couldn’t shake my overwhelming physical desire for Ron, when it seemed that for the most part, we didn’t have a whole lot in common.  I was smart, but Ron was a genius, when he told me about his papers and his research, I could barely absorb it all, it was way over my head. I was sure I needed some sort of psychiatric counseling, but I didn’t pursue it, because what was the point?  I was stuck in this relationship anyway, I was basically a kept woman!

Fall was definitely beautiful in New England.  I smiled as I rode my bicycle through the streets of Boston.  The leaves on the trees were turning stunning shades of red, orange and gold.  There was a bit of a chill in the damp air and night seemed to encroach on the day a little bit more every day.

I arrived back at the Brownstone just as it was getting dark.  I could tell that Ron wasn’t home yet as I wheeled my bike up the stairs. I dropped my backpack in the foyer and wheeled my bike into the study and propped it against the far wall. We had a small tandem garage, but there wasn’t much room back there.  My car was wedged in there, and Ron’s would be parked behind mine when he arrived home.  Once both cars were in there you could barely walk through the tiny garage. I was busy chopping vegetables in the kitchen when I heard Ron come in through the back door.

“Hey Ron,” I called to him, I kept chopping, busily.

“Hello gorgeous,” he said, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around me.  He was trailing kisses down my neck.  I giggled.

“I was making us a quick dinner, I have a paper to write, I need to go back to the library later,” I told him as I turned around and smiled at him.

“I’m not hungry,” he said, wrapping me in his arms and kissing me.

“You’re not?” I asked, looking at him concerned. Then I saw that look in his eye.  Of course, he wasn’t hungry! In moments he was picking me up and carrying me into our bedroom and making love to me.  So much for the library tonight.  I felt guilty.  I knew that Ron really did love me.  I just wasn’t sure why my feelings for him were not as deep.

It was about seven p.m. when I finally dragged myself back out of bed.  I looked out the bay window that looked out over the street to see that it was sleeting. Probably not the best weather for me to be riding my bike back to the campus in the dark.  Ron offered to drive me, but I really didn’t feel like going back out.  He made a fire in the fireplace and we both did our homework there on the leather couch.

In the morning I got up and made coffee. Everything was coated with a slight sheen of ice.  I rolled my eyes miserably, I would need to leave early, the entire town would be in an uproar! Ron offered to drive me to school, but I got the distinct feeling that walking to campus would be much faster, I really had no desire to ride my bike and deal with the ice.

I walked to campus, it really wasn’t that far.There were lots of people walking, it seemed.  I guess everyone else had the same idea. I had a shorter day today, so I would be able to go to the library before I went home.

Later that afternoon things seemed to be melting a bit, but some of the sidewalks were still quite treacherous.  I was walking up the library steps, carefully, in case they were icy.

I heard a familiar voice all of a sudden, I looked up.  There, coming down the stairs, was Chris Logan.   He was talking to another guy who was walking with him.  He looked down and saw me at exactly the same time I saw him.  I froze there on the steps in front of him. He was standing there, staring at me with a shocked look on his face.  I was staring back, suddenly unable to speak.

“Leigh, what are you doing here?  I thought you were going to Harvard,” he said, his voice betrayed a hint of emotion.  I frowned.

“My grades suffered some my senior year, I didn’t get into Harvard.  I guess I was a little messed up,” I said, giving him an embarrassed little shrug.

Chris’ friend excused himself and I was left standing there facing him alone.  There was so much I wanted to say to him, but I didn’t even know where to begin.

“How are you?” I asked.  It was the only thing my stupid brain could think of.

“It’s not necessary for you to make small talk with me Leigh.  I know now that it was stupid to think that the two of us could ever have anything together. I’ve moved on, you’ve moved on, it’s okay,” he said, his voice was laced with sarcasm.  I knew that he had been hurt, I just didn’t know how to fix it.

“I’m really sorry about everything.  I know I hurt you…it’s just that I have no idea how to begin to make things right Chris,” I managed to say.  My voice was trembling with emotion.

“I cared about you.  I was willing to do whatever it took, to make things work, but you…”

“I know Chris.  I was scared…I was trying to protect you.  I knew what everyone would think,” I sighed.

“You didn’t do a very good job.  Protecting me, that is,” said Chris, his voice was cold and callous.

“Listen, can we go somewhere and talk?  I’ll buy you a coffee or something,” I told him.

“What’s there to talk about?  It’s over,” said Chris.

“If you want nothing to do with me, I understand completely, but I loved you Chris, I think I deserve a few minutes of your time,” I said.

“You loved me?” asked Chris, his voice laced with sarcasm.

“I did.  My dad could see it, I’m sure everyone could see it.  It’s why my dad came after you like that. I knew the only way I could protect you was to have no further contact with you. I was afraid my dad would go too far.  You have no idea the lengths my father would go to, to protect my reputation and his,” my voice broke with emotion when I said it.

Chris was staring at me numbly.  It was starting to rain again and I was looking up into his dark eyes pleading for forgiveness.

“Okay, let’s go,” he said, taking me by the arm and walking back down the steps with me.

We walked to a little coffee shop not quite two blocks away.  I bought us coffees and we sat at a little table overlooking the busy street. Everyone in the coffee shop seemed to be eyeing us suspiciously as I pulled up the chair across from Chris and sat down.

“So Boston University, not Harvard, huh?” he said, looking around warily as the other patrons looked away nervously. I shrugged.  I had never been counting on Harvard anyway.  I was happy enough to be in Boston, far away from my screwed up family.

“This is wild, I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve seen you on campus.  What dorms are you living in?” he asked, casually.

“I’m not living in the dorms” I said, looking down at the table, uncomfortably.  I was sure that Chris wouldn’t understand my situation at all.

“You’re not staying in the dorms?  Where are you staying then?” he asked, staring at me oddly.

“I’m staying in a brownstone, in the Back Bay area,” I said, pretending to study my coffee cup.

“A brownstone?  I thought it was a requirement for freshmen to live on campus,” he said.

“It is a requirement, it’s just that Mr. Vincent has connections…”

“Holy crap!  You’ve set up housekeeping with the rich, Harvard guy, haven’t you?” he exclaimed, looking at me completely astounded.

I bit my lip anxiously.  I felt like such a phony.  I’d told everyone I had no feelings for Ron, yet now, here I was living with him in Boston, we were practically like a married couple.  I nodded once and looked out over the street uncomfortably.

“So are you guys engaged now, or what?” he asked.

“No, pretty much living in sin,” I said, giving him a sly smile, I wanted to lighten the mood a little bit.

“The principal’s daughter is shacking up?” exclaimed Chris with mock surprise.

“Listen Chris, I’m really sorry about everything that happened, I…” I was afraid if I didn’t tell him now, I would never be able to get it out.

“Leigh, really…I don’t blame you for anything that happened.  Except maybe for making me unbelievably hot that one night,” he said, with a smile.

“What night?” I asked.

“That night you told me you wanted me…I wanted you too,” said Chris, his eyes were far away as he appeared to be remembering the night.

I was blushing.  I knew he was thinking of the night of the homecoming dance.  I had thrown caution to the wind and pretty much threw myself at him, right before I suddenly began to have second thoughts about the entire situation.  I could feel my cheeks getting hot and pink just thinking about that night.  Just the thought of the way that Chris touched me, was enough to make my heart start pounding… I looked up at him to see his eyes locked on mine.

My heart seemed to falter anxiously.  I could almost feel the tears coming to my eyes.  I still loved him, but I still felt like our situation wasn’t any better now.

“I still want you,” said Chris.  I was struggling to drag my eyes away from his, but I couldn’t for some reason.

“Chris…I can’t…” I managed to whisper, though I could barely get the words out.  My heart was pounding and I was struggling to breathe.

“Do you love him?” asked Chris. I nodded half heartedly.

“I could make it work,” I whispered.  Just hearing the words come out of my own mouth sounded ridiculous.

“You could make it work?” repeated Chris, looking at me incredulously.

“He loves me, and he’s good to me,” I told him, my eyes wandered outside, the rain was pouring down in the street again. People were hurrying through the streets with umbrellas.  I knew I needed to go to the library and get some work done, but I couldn’t make myself leave.

“And of course, your family approves,” said Chris, his voice was bordering on sarcasm.

“Chris there is something very wrong with me.  I used to have a very strong sense of self, but I’ve been beaten down over the years.  I’m finding it’s just easier to go along with everything.  I don’t have the energy to fight for my own convictions any more,” I told him with a sigh.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, but you’re right.  You have been beaten down over the years, but the worst thing you can do now is give up,” said Chris.

“It’s too late, I’ve already given up, my life is no longer my own,” I told him.  I was looking into his eyes.  My own eyes were filling with tears.  He reached out and touched my cheek lightly and the tears started falling.  I was vaguely aware that everyone in the coffee house was staring at us now.

I could hear an older woman near the counter talking to her husband in a stage whisper.  “She’s so beautiful, she could have any guy she wanted, what’s she doing with him?” I reached up and removed his hand from my cheek, I kissed his hand and abruptly stood up to leave.  Society was not ready for this, and neither was I.  I was relatively happy with Ron.  That would have to be good enough, as far as I was concerned.

“I’ve got to go,” I told him, my voice was fading away with emotion.

“I love you Leigh,” he whispered.  I was biting my lip trying to control the flood of tears that threatened to come bursting forth.  My heart seemed to be flopping around uselessly in my chest, it was an effort to breathe.

“Goodbye Chris,” I said, and I turned and walked out the door. I walked out into the street, pulling my hood up over my head.  The rain washed away my tears and I was glad that I had forgotten my umbrella.

“An Imperfect World” by Lyoness Bradley is available on all major e-readers, published by Kingsmuir Press.